10 Tips for Self-Love & Self-Care

By: Fajr Zahid, Zuckerberg College of Health Sciences Well-being Leader

The month of February is often seen as a month dedicated towards spreading love, whether it be towards a romantic partner, friends, or even oneself. Having a healthy relationship with yourself and your mind, as well as others, is an essential part of life and overall well-being. Below are 10 important tips that can help to improve self-love and self-care habits!

1. Try your best not to compare yourself to others – we are all unique in our own ways, and it is important to embrace our differences rather than conceal them.

2. Do not be afraid to be your true, authentic self regardless of how you may be perceived by others.

3. Look out for yourself and give your body the proper rest, nutrients, and care that it needs.

4. Surround yourself with uplifting, genuine people, and distance yourself from those who bring negativity into your life.

5. Never give others the power to make you doubt yourself or your worth – always reassure yourself of your importance and value.

6. Do not settle for less than what you deserve – this goes for all aspects of life whether it be a friendship, romantic relationship, or a future goal that you have.

7. Listen to your intuition! – this can often save you from harmful or toxic situations.

8. Make time for yourself throughout the day or week to engage in activities that bring you peace and happiness.

9. Reflect on your habits, attitudes and behaviors and actively work on the parts of yourself that you would like to improve on.

10. Stand up for yourself in situations where you are being mistreated or disrespected – but also remember to forgive yourself for the times when you were unable to do so.

I hope that you are able to implement all or even just a few of these 10 self-love and self-care tips into your life! If you’re ever struggling with showing yourself the love and care you deserve, or any other aspect of your life, come visit me during my office hours and I’ll do my best to help you 🙂


by Casey Tiernan, Zuckerberg College of Health Sciences Well-being Leader

February is Boost your Self-Esteem Month. Self-esteem is defined as the confidence in one’s own worth or abilities.

It is important to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself, because it influences your choices and decisions and your overall well-being. Self-esteem also influences your motivation because when you have a positive view of yourself, you have a better understanding of your potential and feel inspired to take on new challenges. Another term for self-esteem is self-worth. On the contrary, low self-esteem is linked to feelings of insecurity within one’s skills and leads to doubts with decision making. It can also result in low motivation to try new challenges. Individuals who experience this may have issues forming healthy relationships with themselves and others, making them feel unworthy. 

I struggle to this day with my own self-esteem. However, this year has led me to step out of my comfort zone and learn more about myself. I have gained confidence in my skills within my major and it allows me to be my best self. The smallest thing I did to change my low self-esteem was to be aware of my thoughts and to be kind to myself. I stopped telling myself negative thoughts and had a new outlook about myself. I also recommend expressing your needs. It allows you to be open and honest with yourself. It is also key to know you are allowed to say “no” when you want to. This skill took me time to master because I always felt bad, but once I started saying “no,” I felt in control of myself again. The last thing I did was accept my strengths and weaknesses. I originally picked a major that was heavy in math and sciences (which yes, is my weakness), so I switched to Public Health which allowed me to see my strengths in a new light. 

Having a healthy self-esteem can motivate you to reach your goals and accomplish anything you put your mind to because it allows for setting appropriate boundaries within relationships. “When you find yourself engaging in negative thinking, try countering these thoughts with more realistic ones (Cherry, 2022)”. With February being Boost your Self-Esteem Month, every morning when you wake up, search for a daily affirmation. It allows you to start your day off with a positive mindset. 

I’ll give you one to start:

I value myself as a person. 

Now it’s your turn!


My Mind & Me Review : Unpacking The Real Selena

by: Fahad Alden, Fine Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences Well-being Leader

Selena Gomez’s long-anticipated documentary “My Mind & Me,” which has been in the works since 2016, is finally out on Apple TV. Gomez was initially known for her breakout role as a Disney star beginning with “Barney” and then “Wizards of Waverly Place,” Not only that, she has starred in several films such as Monte Carlo, Spring Breakers, Romana and Beezus, and Princess Protection Program. 

She has also become a more mature actress and an award-winning singer with three albums under her belt. The albums are Stars Dance, Revival, and Rare. With her first album, her singles “Come & Get it” and “Slow Down” did so spectacularly that they both ended up getting RIAA (music certification for greatly played music)gold certified. She then built off that momentum and excitement and went on a world tour with her next album, Revival. However, her health concerns, including lupus and depression soon took over. Her PR representatives cited they were greatly concerned that she checked herself into rehab. 

In today’s “me” culture, when everyone is always sharing everything, Gomez has kept her lips sealed on a wide range of events surrounding her. Even through her turmoil, breakups, AMA award show disaster, or falling outs with friends, she rarely gave us glimpses into her life, which is why this documentary was heavily anticipated. One reason is that the director is Alek Keshishian, renowned for directing Madonna’s truth or dare documentary, smart water commercials, coca cola, and even directing one of Gomez’s most viewed music videos, “Hands To Myself.” What made this documentary even more appealing was that he mentioned that Gomez’s documentary was shelled in 2016 due to her not being in the best place, but it will be revisited. But this documentary was hinted at through Gomez’s interviews and close sources within the span of six years. 

The viewer can see Gomez’s career progression highlighted throughout the documentary, as well assee her performing during the revival tour, doing interviews for her rare album, and hearing the soundtrack for upcoming songs. 

In the beginning, a critical moment was Gomez’s mental breakdown. The mental breakdown ended up occurring during her revival tour. This breakdown was one of great volume and intensity, and her friends and her mother were worried for Gomez’s life. 

 The documentary gave the viewer a big clue as to the state of her mind during this time. As we can see in the first scene, Gomez is seen at first discussing how she felt defeated over messing up her choreography while dancing. But this complaint then caused a big unraveling of a box of seemingly suppressed emotions. She began to make self-deprecating comments about her body, singing, and dancing. Then she even aimed her public persona, saying, “When am I going to be good enough — just me by myself, not needing anybody to be associated with?”

This could be seen as an emotionally impactful moment in the documentary. To the public, she seems so independent and fearless on stage; in reality, that is not the case. This scene was powerful because it was not just a simple shot of her tearing up. We got to see her frustration, her hand waving, and the hugging from her manager to console her.  

The humanization of Gomez as a person and then as a product fights against the perception of the notion that fame and money can not insulate her from these emotions. We see her high heel tapping, her sarcastic comment towards the reporter, her crying, and her need for a consultation when distraught. What may confuse a viewer is Gomez’s decision of what she chooses to tell and what she does not. The general focus on her hard past, her broken relationship with her father, working at the age of 7, and dealing with the press were points she lightly touched on. 

She also gives us the illusion that she shares much of herself, but everything is vague. That is why even though the documentary is 90 minutes long, it still felt too short, as a great deal of time showed her getting ready for places or the car rides and not diving deeper into her personality and history. 

Viewers finishing the documentary could possibly be left with more questions than they started with,such as what were things she did in a state of rage, as her ever coming wrath caused her to do reckless things? What caused the fracturing of her relationship with her dad? Were headlines shown in the video about possible drug use true?  

I would say the strong foundation of the documentary was its cinematography. There are beautiful shots of her looking out of a car window, giving speeches, and a creative shot of her in a rose-petaled bath with some audio of her poetry being recited in the background. There is also videography highlighting the beauty of South Africa through the natural environment and animals, with wide and close-up shots galore. The videos also demonstrated a sense of imprisonment for her fame. She was seen leaving restaurants and parties, and with every shot, the paparazzi’s comments about her weight, relationship, and more were echoed in the background. As well, some pictures of cutthroat headlines were put on the video. Sporadically thrown throughout the documentary, these shots demonstrated where some of her self-loathing could stem from. 

I did enjoy her inclusion of some short poetry in the documentary. Specifically, an audio recitation of her talking about how she has everything she has ever wanted to achieve, but how there is always “Selena .” Referring to her name, not as her name but more of a burden. She says so slowly and so quietly that it makes you feel as if you are being told a secret. It is a great artistic choice, but I wish there were more of these audios, and it was spread out more than strictly in the start. That is exactly what I loved about what they did with her song, also titled “My Mind & Me,” the snippets of her music were placed throughout the documentary. The snippets were long for us to enjoy but not long enough for the song to be spoiled.

Overall, this documentary shows that perception is not always what we believe. To many, Gomez embodied the American dream- fame, beauty, and money- yet as she shares the stories of her struggles with bipolar disorder and lupus and being haunted by her past, we see that what seems simple is not. The documentary is, in many ways, a teaser to the next chapter of her journey. 

Finding Humor in Stressful Situations

By: Alejandra Malaga Walters, Francis College of Engineering Well-being Leader

Although there’s no way to eliminate life’s challenges completely, humor can be a great mechanism for dealing with stress. A sense of humor can help you build resilience to stress and improve your overall physical and emotional health.

Research has shown that laughter therapy reduces stress, and it can enhance the overall quality of life. Humor can distract you from difficult situations and allow you to look at the same situation in different ways. Most college students face immense stress during presentations, projects, deadlines, and homework. For instance, being stressed during a group project because a member of your group was not doing their job. This can be very stressful and make you angry because your grade depends on their work. But what if you try to make the experience more fun with your other group members? By working together with the other members of the group so you don’t focus on all the work you have to do just by yourself, you can laugh and joke and enjoy working on the project. There are different ways to try to make light of a situation depending on your sense of humor. Do you really want to be over-stressed? Besides, being stressed doesn’t help you do your job better, in fact, you can’t put in your 100% when you are stressed.

But how can we add in humor and remain serious about our work? Sometimes, it’s very hard to make something funny when you are upset or overwhelmed. For that reason, you can start by cultivating your sense of humor in a few easy ways, and the more often you practice them, the more automatic they’ll become. First, you start with a smile. Even just faking a smile can increase happiness and not just the appearance of it. This is because the act of smiling, whether real or fake, causes your body to release feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. Another thing you can do when you’re in the middle of a difficult situation is take a step back and view your situation as an objective observer. This can help you find some potential absurdities in the little things l, and you may end up laughing. Finally, recruit funny friends. Social support is a crucial part of stress management. Find a friend or group of friends with whom you can share your frustrations and challenges and laugh about them in the process. Using humor in stressful situations can help you realize that situation is only a moment in your life, not your entire life.

If you need someone to make you laugh or smile, visit me in my office hours next semester!



5 Habits You Should Adopt to Improve Your Overall Well-being

by: Medi Woldemichael, Manning School of Business Well-being Leader

Habits can drastically change your life. It all starts with one little routine that you exercise regularly until your mind becomes used to it. It does not happen overnight. It would help if you changed your mindset; after you have mastered your mind and established good habits, success and happiness will be yours.

These five little habits have helped me achieve my goals and will likely benefit those who try them as well.


It doesn’t matter if it’s a strenuous weight-training session or a relaxing walk around the park; exercise makes you more alert and energetic and improves your attitude about everything—at work and elsewhere. Your physical health and self-confidence can both improve with regular exercise.

Live in the present

Today is a gift. Appreciate everything you have:

– Your family

– Your health

– Your experiences

You feel more blessed, happier, and joyful when you realize everything you have.

Plan your day

Planning has power because it gives you perspective and control over your life. It enables you to handle the tiny tasks essential to achieving your long-term goals and offers you a broad view of the maze that must be navigated.

Learn to embrace discomfort

To enhance your life, you must step outside of your comfort zone. It would be best if you broke fresh ground. Make it a habit to push yourself outside your comfort zone.


– Read more books

– Start working out

– Choose healthier foods

Daily affirmations

Affirmations are an effective tool to help us remember our values.

They begin to appear in your life when you repeat them frequently.

Positive words of Affirmation:

-I am in command of my life

– Today will be a fantastic day!

– I can achieve anything I want

-I am capable of anything

Because of these five habits, I have become a healthier and happier person. If you need help implementing these, please come to my office hours (Wednesdays 11:00am-3:00pm), and I would gladly help you.

Things to Know About Burnout

by: Casey Tiernan, Zuckerberg College of Health Sciences Well-being Leader

Are you feeling detached? Fatigued? Having difficulty concentrating? These could be signs you are experiencing a burnout. Burnout is when one’s health becomes completely exhausted through overwork, lack of adequate social support, taking on more than one can handle, and poor self-care.

There are physical, emotional, and behavioral symptoms of burnout. All of these symptoms of burnout are important to notice early on. Physical symptoms include feeling tired and drained most of the time, lowered immunity, frequent illnesses, frequent headaches or muscle pain, and change in appetite or sleep habits. Emotional symptoms include a sense of failure or self-doubt, feeling helpless, detached from the world, no motivation, and having a negative outlook. Behavioral symptoms include withdrawing from responsibilities, isolating yourself, procrastinating, substance and alcohol use, and skipping work.

Burnout reduces productivity and drains all your energy, which can leave you feeling helpless, hopeless, and cynical. The negative effects of burnout impact daily home, work, and social life. It can lead to anxiety, headaches, lack of sleep, and a change in your outlook on life. Studies have also linked burnout to an increased likelihood of Type II diabetes, male infertility, sleep disorders and musculoskeletal disorders among those with extreme physical, emotional, and mental fatigue.

There are ways you can avoid or help burnout. It is important to take breaks throughout your day to give your brain time to rest and replenish. Another thing to help is to seek support. This could be a coworker, friend, loved one, or someone from Counseling Services, to help you cope. I find when I am feeling burnout, I like to take a day to work on self-care and disconnect from all school work and focus on myself. This allows me to refresh and take a break from feeling overwhelmed. Other tips to avoid burnout include disconnecting from technology before bed, getting some exercise, mindfulness, and trying a relaxing activity such as reading.

Remember: If you are feeling this way, take a step back and focus on you!

Remember: If you are feeling this way, take a step back and focus on you!




Wogue: A Sit-Down Conversation with Neyder Fernandez, The Person

by: Fahad Alden, College of Fine Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences Well-being Leader

For the month of November, I wanted to highlight the work of someone whom I deeply admire. As a member of the Student Government Association (SGA), I have seen Neyder as a thoughtful, creative, and genuinely innovative leader. But due to his humble nature, that is not always showcased, so I wanted to use the platform to showcase lessons we can all learn from Neyder. Neyder is not only the president of SGA, but also an innovator, determined, and, most importantly, fun. I genuinely believe we all can learn a thing or two from this successful young man. 

Fahad: As president, one of your main priorities has been mental health and social inclusion. Why is that so important to you? 

Neyder: I think the pandemic highlighted the importance of mental health. People were so disconnected from each other, and we lost our personal touch. Often, we overlook the value of social inclusion as key to improving mental health. 

Fahad: Neyder, in your profile interview, you shared that the label, most likely to succeed, was pushed on you growing up. Do you feel like that label, at times, makes you feel like you have to live up to it, and does it make it, at times, more challenging to say no?

Neyder: As a first generation immigrant, you have to often achieve success through education and hard work. I have always found that to be truly rewarding and I really do believe in the value of lifting yourself  up through bootstrap. Sometimes as a leader, the nature of the job is that you have a great deal of students that heavily rely on you, and that is what motivates you to do better. The burden can be heavy sometimes, and you must learn to say no. I love to say yes, and when you reach this position as president, you need to say that you cannot help someone when you are not at your 100 percent best self. 

Fahad: Your executive board is one of the most diverse in Umass Lowell’s history. Many people of color may feel confined or have imposter syndrome to step into leadership positions. What advice would you give them? 

Neyder: Many people of color and minorities often feel like they cannot be in positions of power, which drove me to choose an executive board filled with confident people and experienced, not only merit and position, but experiences. Some come from towns outside of Massachusetts, and even for me I come with the commuter experience. So it is not diversity based racial or gender diversity, but there is a diversity of experience. Being the first in anything can be challenging for anyone wanting to get involved, but that is when seeking mentors can help you. We are all getting the same education at the end of the day, and I believe we all can get those positions regardless of where we come from. I was a sophomore not thinking about the presidency. I threw myself into the race;I had no executive experience, and regardless of where you come from, you may need to challenge the system at times. 

Fahad: Something that I found admirable is that you give opportunities to many SGA members, for example you suggested me and fellow SGA members as recommendations for ACT events. Do you believe it is important for leaders to pass bantons?  

Neyder:Through the nature of the position, a spotlight is on me great deal of the time. I am often asked to events and I truly want to empower new students and want them to feel they can be at leadership positions in the future. When you take that approach, you are cultivating new leaders and opening gates for them, allowing them to feel they are making an impact. You allow yourself to be in the position for me or in the future for a senior level position. You allow them to feel hey I may be only a senator but I can make a difference.

Fahad: You have shared in past interviews that you have worked at Jack M. Wilson’s internship as social media manager. As someone who now has a very focused and analytical job, how is it when you have, in the past or currently, stepped into creative endeavors? 

Neyder:So, I am always looking for ways to challenge myself and diversify my skill set. Especially since I am in student government and help oversee the social media strategy. It helped me understand the social aspect and how to manage PR strategy. I am nonconventional; I do not run things in a typical manner. 

Fahad: Would you consider yourself creative?  

Neyder: I would say I am creative, but not to the extent of Picasso. I am pretty abstract in my thinking. I have a form of thought where I take a piece of every piece of information I have. I take things from different social science and learn from everything, even in my major. Which helped solidify my thinking. Also, my career path is nonconventional, I jumped from working the business side and private sector, and I have worked great in the non-profit sector. I want to make myself a better leader and, most importantly, a better mentor. 

Fahad: Anyone who knows you is always on the run, from being a master plan committee member to just being full-time; what are your favorite things to do for self-care? 

Neyder: I think my strong social network is something I rely on heavily to destress. Whether that is hanging out with them or going out to eat, or just making dinner for them, my favorite thing to cook is Italian and Mexican food, and I like contemporary Americans like everyone like Mac and Cheese. I use that as an outlet. But I think that is an outlet; I use them because they are different fields, and we are not in work mode when we are with each other; since there are various fields, we do not always have to take the business. Even small things playing video games help you detach from the environment. 

Fahad: You always share your love for music on your social media. What is your current top three music you find yourself listening to unwind? 

Neyder: I do not have the top three songs.  The reason being I have varied interests in music and artists. I do tend to listen to a lot of Hispanic artists and American artists and Techno. There is, you know, the traditional bad bunny, Drake, and a couple of different artists, as my music taste tends to vary depending on my emotions and how I feel.

How To Stay Mentally Healthy on Social Media

by: Medi Woldemichael, Manning School of Business Well-being Leader

Social Media has become an accepted practice in our daily lives. By the time you’ve read this, you’ve likely already used a variety of social media platforms today, and you’ll see even more by the end of the day. That’s not something inherently “good” or “bad”; instead, it’s a new aspect of our social life to be mindful of, especially in relation to mental health. To ensure that social media benefits your health, you must know how you use it. Here are some tips for maintaining mental health while enjoying social media’s benefits:

Know your Purpose.

Knowing why you use social media will help you focus on that goal and spot it when it has been achieved. For example, if you’re using a social network to remain in touch with friends and family who don’t live nearby, then use and appreciate it for that—but if you find yourself perusing your feed, getting lost in hours of random videos, or Instagram stalking celebrities, understanding your purpose might help you remind yourself: this isn’t why I’m here. Knowing your purpose and when you’ve strayed from it helps you get back on track and get the most out of your time on social media.

View Other People’s Posts as Inspiration Rather than a Comparison.

Your daily life may seem doubtful compared to others’ achievements and picture-perfect moments when you see them shared online. But remember that these moments don’t reflect someone’s whole life, and the person is probably dealing with many of the same problems as you. A healthy approach to using social media is to use these postings as motivation to work toward your own goals rather than simply comparing your life to that of their Instagram. It’s also

beneficial to choose who you follow carefully. Consider unfriending or unfollowing someone if their posts frequently frustrate you or make you feel bad about yourself.

Take a social media break.

A break from social media is sometimes needed. You do not have to delete your account entirely and stop using social media. However, taking a break will help you reset your mindset to resume better, more deliberate habits. You may use several practical strategies to step away from social media, such as muting notifications or turning off your phone. Overusing your phone can lead to loneliness and low self-esteem. Putting your phone away from time to time might help mitigate some of these emotions.

Prioritize Self-Care

Prioritize self-care first. It can be especially beneficial to substitute your social media use with other mood-boosting activities that do not require your phone. Try one of these healthier options when you feel the need to check your phone and start scrolling:

– Make plans to meet up with friends in person.

– Go for a walk, hike, or bike ride

– Cook your favorite meal

– Journal for 20 minutes

Social media’s effect on your mental health often depends on how you use it and why. It can have long-lasting effects on our mental health and well-being. Depending on how you utilize it, it can have different outcomes. Trying to set time apart from your phone to enjoy other amenities will help with mental health and other parts of health.


Music Improves Your Well-being

By: Pre’Yelle “Prey” Grinkley, College of Fine Arts, Humanities, & Social Sciences Well-being Leader

Did you know music improves your overall wellbeing?

Research has shown that listening to music can improve your mood, decrease pain and anxiety, and help with emotional expression.

This year has given many of us the opportunity to redeem ourselves after the coronavirus pandemic. From wearing masks to learning remotely through and being isolate from friends or family, the way we interact with one another and how we treat ourselves has changed indefinitely.

During this period of transitioning back to in-person, many of us have been looking for new methods to keep a good standard of health. While some of us may choose the most common forms of psychotherapy, like counseling, there are other types of psychotherapy that can be used as an alternative to or in combination with traditional psychotherapy treatments. These include art therapy and more specifically, music therapy.

Music Therapy is defined as an interactive process that occurs when the therapist integrates music, and all its elements to help individuals in developing, restoring, or supporting health. Even though music is used clinically in music therapy to help patients reach their unique goals, most people resort to using music as a coping mechanism for personal challenges without even realizing the clinical health benefits that come with it.

Personally, I’ve always noticed myself wanting to write, listen to, or play music that communicates or expresses the emotion that I feel that moment. Without knowing the scientific facts of how music affects my brain and body, I have always noticed that I feel happier or healed after listening to music that resonates with me. Music has always been the best medium to help get my message across and it’s the most effective when I am helping people understand how I feel. Throughout my life I learned that music has no language barriers, and it can be used to spread a message internationally because everyone can understand music regardless of the languages they may speak.

Listening, singing, playing an instrument, or making music are all examples of music therapy activities. Interventions in music therapy help with a variety of learning and medical goals, including:

  • Managing Stress
  • Alleviating Pain
  • Expressing Feelings
  • Enhancing Memory
  • Improving Communication

Listening to music is an activity that can stimulate the brain, which has great effects on the brain’s health. Music strengthens areas of the brain that manage memory, emotions, learning, movement, and concentration. Researchers found that listening to and playing music increase the body’s production of the cells that attack invading viruses and boost the immune system’s effectiveness. Music also reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

Whenever you are feeling down, uneasy, or unwell try picking up your instrument, songwriting with friends, or listening to music to relieve that tension. Music develops happiness!




Change your perspective and don’t take it personally

by: Alejandra Malaga Walters, Francis College of Engineering Well-being Leader

Worrying about what other people think is very common in humans. We cannot undo long-held beliefs overnight, but we can learn to be more objective about situations and slowly stop taking things too personally.

According to Frederick Imbo, an expert in communication and Neuro-Linguistic Programming, there are two strategies to stop taking things personally. The first one is to think whatever people say or do is not about you. Look at the other person’s intention and try to see it from their perspective.

We often tend to think that whatever a person said or did is about us and we get offended and feel the need to defend ourselves. Usually, we take things personally when we make certain assumptions, and many times those assumptions aren’t even true. Try to see things from a different point of view from your own. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to assume the best. Remind yourself that you can’t always change how people perceive you, only how you react.

If the first strategy doesn’t work, you must use the second one. The second strategy focuses on “it is about me”. If in the moment, you can’t realize the other person’s intention and still get hurt, you need to consider why you’re having that reaction and you must work on yourself. Maybe their words hit an insecurity that you have. And when you find the problem that is bothering you, you can work towards improving that insecurity, give yourself empathy and speak up.

Oftentimes, what provokes us is not usually about a specific thing but about our beliefs about the world, beliefs that are based on fear. These beliefs are generally formed in childhood, according to psychotherapist Elayne Savage of Berkeley. She says they arise from rejection experiences that can take many forms, from not feeling supported by a parent to being the blank of bullies. After you realize where the problem is coming from you can learn to be more objective about situations and slowly stop taking things so much to heart. You would be able to own your actions and reactions and gain insight into yourself and those close to you. You can talk with your friends openly and tell them when certain things bother you. When doing this, it is important not to repress your emotions or avoid personal responsibility.

The truth is that it is a matter of perspective. Many times, we assume the worst, and in the end, is not what we originally thought. We put ourselves in complex situations and thoughts for no reason. Bringing those thoughts to our minds will only make our pain last longer, and no one likes or deserves to suffer. For this reason, we need to focus on “us” instead of “them”. Question yourself: “Is thinking this way worth it?” Assuming the best, instead of the worst, may set you free of overthinking and pain.