We have all gotten angry at someone or something at some point, but what really causes our anger? Is it our fault? Is it the other factor’s fault? How can we address anger to reduce it from our lives?
Just a few questions I’m sure we have all pondered and now we can take a journey together on how to fight fire with water!
First i’d like to state that anger is a normal human emotion that is usually healthy to express, it is only when it gets out of control and becomes destructive do we have to address and intervene. When this happens anger can effect almost everything in your life from work, relationships, classes and even how you treat yourself.
The three main strategies for controlling anger are to; express, suppress, and calming.
1) Express: Express your anger in an assertive non-aggressive manner. Learn how to make clear what you need and plan out how to get it, without hurting others. Being assertive does not mean pushing everyone else out of your way to achieve something but to be respectful of others as well as yourself.
2) Suppress: Anger can be suppressed and converted or redirected. This happens by holding in your anger, stop thinking about it and focus on something positive. Inhibit your anger and convert it to positive, constructive behavior. The last thing you want is for your anger to turn inwards, to yourself, this can lead to; hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
3) Calming: calming means not just controlling your outward behavior but also controlling your internal responses. Take steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down and let the feelings subside.
Some people may feel that letting their aggression out is the best method all the time, but this is not the case. Since anger builds on anger the more you lash out at everyone and everything the more your anger will become uncontrollable and you will need to seek outside help to help yourself.
Relaxation is a key step in reducing anger. Some tips you can try are: Breath deeply and slowly. slowly repeat a calming word over and over, repeat it to yourself until you’re calm. Use imagery, picture a relaxing experience and hold on to it, either from memory or imagination! Yoga has also been shown to help relax not only you but your muscle as well.
Another tip is to use what experts call: Cognitive Restructuring, which is a fancy phrase for change how you think about something in a positive way. Turn something you hate into something you love by changing your thought process about it. Try something you think you hate, don’t knock it till you tried it!
A couple other strategies are problem solving, better communication, and humor.
For a better idea of where you are at you can take this anger quiz: http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=3396&cn=116
Be safe, be smart, make good decisions,
Craig