For every painfully long and almost unendurable episode of The Walking Dead there are a number of things that are simply overlooked about the character flaws of zombies. There is a reason that almost every zombie movie starts in an apocalyptic setting because if you were to start from the beginning you would realize that zombies are fairly weak and not menacing at all. Just role play with me for a minute. You’re in your room and you hear a scream in the hallway, you go open your door to see what is going on and OH MY GOD THERE’S A ZOMBIE. You panic and quickly go back into your room and lock the door. Now rule seventeen says not to be a hero but think of all of the items you can use in your room to either impale or bash in that zombies skull. There is quite a few. Now think about the entire country where people have more refined weapons than a pair of scissors to use to re-dead that horrifying zombie. There are a number of other things that would just go horribly wrong with a zombie outbreak.
Thing One: Everything about a zombie screams prey not predator
Zombies have no way to protect themselves from anything. At the mere sight of a zombie any animal or human would be looking for a way to kill it. Humans are way too evolved to be bested by a horde of zombies simply because we can actually use our brains and are not driven by an insatiable hunger for flesh. Humans can use almost anything they find to kill a zombie. Humans aside think of all of the bugs that feed off of soft-tissue. The zombie won’t have its eyes for much longer. Zombies are also not shielded from the elements. Have you ever left uncooked meat out in the heat? Have you ever put raw meat into a freezer? I’m sure you know what happens. I am not going to go into much detail on that one, you can use your imaginations. Zombie can also not heal from their wounds. Every day they sustain some sort of damage and their bodies just can not deal with it. There are also just too many natural disadvantages that zombies just could not overcome. Zombies can’t swim and walking on anything that isn’t flat also seems to be problematic for them. The layout of cities would also make zombie killing almost like hunting deer. Think of the giant grid that is New York City. Every zombie would be in a line for you to just shoot. It would be easier than sitting in a tree waiting for a deer to walk-bye.
Thing Two: They spread their disease by biting
How close would you be willing to let a zombie get to you? Chances are not very close. The number one method that a zombie spreads its disease is by biting people. Unless a zombie were to just appear in the middle of Day Glow I am fairly certain a few people might be asking themselves why there is a person with a horrible case of the dead biting people and would start running away. Think of the mass panic that arose from the H1N1 outbreak a few years ago. People were wearing surgical masks to shield themselves so that they wouldn’t get infected with the flu. If people are willing to walk around with a surgical mask in public on a day that is not Halloween think of what people will do to make sure that they don’t get bitten by a zombie and become infected themselves. When SARS broke out international travel from and to the US was shut down once it was found out that the virus might have spread to North America and only 43 people on the entire continent were killed by the disease.
Thing Three: There are too many guns
While not everyone has a gun there are still a number of people who have guns and know how to use them. Think of all of the people who live in the south that just ride around on ATVs and shoot guns. Not at the same time but you get what I’m getting at. The Mavericks of the world. All of the gun toting Americans would not even hesitate to load up and start unloading some of the hundreds of thousands of rounds they have stashed in their “survival bunkers”.
‘Merica
So don’t fear zombies anymore because Merica is here to help get rid of them.
-Brady
