By Soham Sawant, Kennedy College of Sciences Well-Being Leader
“How are you!?”
“I’m fine. . .”
“What is ‘fine’?”
“I don’t know. . . sigh. Fine is fine.”
Words like “fine”, “good”, “stressed”, and “tired” are default words. The problem is that they are too vague and do not do justice when trying to convey our actual feelings and emotions.
If you are feeling:
Slightly good → fine
Slightly bad → fine
The same word “fine” spans many micro-emotions and thus when we say we are “fine” we don’t really know what we mean. We feel it, but we don’t know what it is.
This is where the “Feelings Wheel” comes into the picture. Imagine a big circle divided into colors.
In the center we have basic broad words like →Mad, Sad, Joyful, Scared.
Then we move one step outward… and Mad turns into → Frustrated or Hurt.
Then as we move to the outer rings, Frustrated turns into→Annoyed or Distant.
It takes us from a vague cloudy word to an EXACT word. So, why does this even matter?
If we just say “I’m stressed” , we don’t really know what to do and just sit there feeling bad.
But if we look at the wheel and realize “Oh. . . I’m not just stressed , I’m overwhelmed”, now we know that we need to take a break. If we realize “I’m actually lonely”, then we know we need to text a friend, and not watch another video.
Different feelings need different solutions. “Fine” gives us zero solutions.
How to try it:
- Download a picture of the Feelings Wheel on your phone or go to the online version.
- Next time you catch yourself saying “I’m fine” or “I’m tired” . . stop.
- Open the picture and trace your finger from the center to the outside.
- Find the word that actually fits.
The feeling Wheel is easily available online and there is a physical version in the Satellite Serenity Center, so you can stop by chill on bean bag, take a breather and take some time to understand what you are feeling.
That’s it. This small act of taking a few seconds to identify the exact emotion, will overtime introduce us to more words that have specific descriptions. No pressure of writing a journal or an entire essay. When the emotion is felt, see it, call it (using the Wheel) and move forward.