The last two days have been the craziest most rewarding whirlwind experience. Our study abroad group participated in a Depression Design Jam, or hackathon as it is sometimes better known. Going into the hackathon I was eager to tackle the problem at hand, helping to create a tool that allows people around my age in the UK to identify and  support friends who may be struggling with depression. For me this was a topic that hits close to home. My Dad has struggled with depression for my entire life, and when I was younger he attempted to take his life twice. It’s not always easy to identify the signs of depression, and even if you do identify it trying to open up communication to talk about depression is an entirely new battle.

On the first day of the Design Jam we were split into groups. Of our study abroad group I was working with Sheila and Regina. Additionally we were working with four or five other people. Following this we split up to research specific areas, similar to what happens day to day in a creative environment. I was sent off to gain knowledge on depression. Though most of the information discussed were things I was already aware of regarding depression I was able to gain a deeper understanding of the stigma surrounding depression in the UK. In the US we’re more open about our feelings and depression is something we’re educated about (at least I was from middle school through college).

Once we had gone and collected our data we returned to our groups to start brainstorming to solve the issue at hand. This was when things got tricky. Although there were an abundance of good ideas within my group several of my teammates did not present their thoughts and ideas in a respectful way. Several of them came off as condescending and misogynistic. They would dismiss the ideas that myself and several others brought to the table. They would talk over us, talk down to us, and tried to control the direction conversation when we were supposed to be in a place of open brainstorming and communication. Experiencing this left me feeling defeated and extremely discouraged about returning for day two. By the end of day one after a lot of arguing we came to a conclusion on our hypothesis. After much mental exhaustion it was time to call it a day.

After day one I needed to return to the hotel and recharge, this day had been filled with a lot of uncomfortable feelings and I had an overload of human interactions and just needed a break. Following a little relaxation I talked with both Regina and Ingrid to try to figure out the best solution for what to do on day two. I was honest and open with them, I said that I felt this experience was not valuable to my education and that with the limited time we have in London that I’d rather spend it doing something more interesting and beneficial. We talked back and fourth for a while and both Regina and Ingrid gave me some helpful life advice in regards to situations such as these. By the end of our conversation I decided to return for day two, and if it was unbearable I would leave when I felt it was necessary.

Upon arriving to day two, everyone was refreshed and ready to go. Though I was extremely skeptical I did my best to be positive and contribute to conversation with our group. Our day started off smoothly and things seemed to be going in a productive manner for once. I was finally starting to feel good about this experience. And then things took a turn of the worst once again. It seemed as if the things that had been agreed upon by the group had now started to be altered by one half of the group and this created tension and disagreement. The day prior I had kept silent to keep the peace. But today I didn’t have it in me to let my thoughts be brushed aside, it was time to stand up for my opinion against those who were dismissive of my ideas. Although it was still a battle I felt somewhat better from no longer staying quiet for the sake of keeping the peace. And though we still were not all on the same page by the end of the day, we were able to solidify an idea and present it to big radical and the other teams.

It was amazing to see all of the ideas and products and services that each group developed. All of them would be useful tools in the fight to aid those with depression. We finished off the day with awards and drinks. Although our group was not the winning idea there were still awards to give out. Surprisingly I won two awards, one for being our groups “Superstar” and the second award was the “Tigress” award for “extreme boldness”. In all honesty I didn’t expect to receive awards, however it was rewarding because they severed as an affirmation that I did the right thing by defending my ideas and standing up for what I believe in.

Over all at the end of the day, I am extremely thankful and happy for the experience I gained at the Depression Design Jam. The reality is that once I graduate from college this is the type of environment I’m going to be immersed in. It’s going to be collaborative, fast paced, and challenging. More likely than not there will be times when I’m require to work with people I disagree with or may not get along with, but that’s just part of life in general. The best thing I can do to combat difficult situations is to be vocal and stand strong on my opinions and beliefs. This hackathon allowed me to put real world skills to use and for that I am extremely thankful (as well for my mentors who encouraged me to be the best version of myself during this experience).