{"id":983,"date":"2026-10-18T20:34:47","date_gmt":"2026-10-19T01:34:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/?p=983"},"modified":"2026-10-18T20:34:48","modified_gmt":"2026-10-19T01:34:48","slug":"2023-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/2026\/10\/18\/2023-me\/","title":{"rendered":"2023 Me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Fallon Weiss, Kennedy College of Sciences Well-Being Leader<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my eyes, in my smile, in the mirror sometimes I see her: 2023 Me. Four years, I\u2019ve found, can change a person more than you think it can. I was excited for a new chapter, for independence, and to start over from the, quite frankly, the awful years of being a high schooler. When I\u2019m brushing my teeth in the morning, I see her. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s worried if she\u2019ll fail. Worried if she\u2019s not smart enough, talented enough, ready enough for the next step. You can see it in the way she walks with her head down, earbuds in. Locked in so intensely on every assignment, as if each perfect score will be her personal valor. I can see through the mirror as she\u2019s getting ready for her first day of college. Like always, she\u2019s carried some habits from her childhood: She picked out a perfect first day of school outfit, and woke up extra early to have time to do her makeup just right. She\u2019s looking in the mirror, a smile full of joy, and wondering if she looks \u201ccool\u201d enough. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the other side, I want to tell her she already is. But the past can\u2019t be talked to, only seen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s packing up her new backpack, and slipping on a black hoodie with a raven design on the back of it. It\u2019s his. She feels happier knowing he\u2019s near, even if he lives in another state. She thinks this hoodie is forever. It feels like his hugs. She liked hugs. What she doesn\u2019t know is that she\u2019ll have to give him back his hoodie two years later, and it will have gained more loose threads than it was given to her with. And, her love for it will have patched its many, many<\/em>, holes. From where I stand, I want to know how she\u2019s so doubtful of herself but so determined, so steadfastly believing in others. I want to know why she loved him so completely but forgot about leaving some of it for herself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I enter the Starbucks on North Campus to pick up my morning coffee, I see her in every cup. She\u2019ll post and take pictures of everything, sending them to family and friends. In fact, the most exciting thing about the meal plan to her wasn\u2019t the dining hall at all. Somehow, it was about getting Starbucks coffees when she hadn\u2019t had the taste in years. It always made her feel like royalty. In fact, she always gave all the employees compliments when she put in her order, and got to know each of their names by Winter Break. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I feel her close when I take exams, her nervousness and anxiety is like a spark on a pile of papers. It catches quickly, and it grows bigger than she or I can handle sometimes. I want to tell her to breathe, but it\u2019s hard for her to listen. All her mind is thinking of is how fast that clock seems to tick, and how blank her mind seems to be. Afterward, it\u2019s so hard for her to breathe that she escapes into the bathroom – and hopes no one hears – as she splashes water on her face and dries her tears. She tells herself she just needs to be better. That she\u2019s not enough, she needs to be smarter. She\u2019ll just study even more. She\u2019ll just go to more office hours. She\u2019ll just spend every bit of free time she has with tutors. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want to tell her that doing more doesn\u2019t mean she\u2019s doing it right. That there\u2019s more to why she\u2019s struggling. That people don\u2019t learn in exactly the same ways. That she\u2019s doing all she can, and she needs to stop putting so much pressure on herself. I want to hold her hand and say that she doesn\u2019t have to do this all by herself – that there are people around her who care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But she\u2019s stubborn. I know that better than anybody. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know she doesn\u2019t know it, but despite what she\u2019ll go through\u2026 I\u2019m happy for her. She\u2019ll get scared, and worried. She\u2019ll cry over bad test grades, call her family and tell them she thinks she\u2019s dumb\u2026 and yet: She\u2019ll find a new calmness within herself, a strength she never thought she could ever have. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019ll have a father who will teach her all his best-kept test taking secrets. A sister who will always know how to brighten her day and give her hugs when she needs them. Friends who can make the worst classes into the best ones, and become her best study buddies. Teachers who will show her potential when she\u2019s blind to it. Mentors who will become her biggest cheerleaders. She will have a village. And even if it takes a lot of mountains to get there, she\u2019ll find what she\u2019s looking for. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And one day, when she looks like me, she\u2019ll look back at herself and smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, you can\u2019t talk to the past. But you can cherish what you\u2019ve become, and I don\u2019t want her to regret any of it. <3<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Fallon Weiss, Kennedy College of Sciences Well-Being Leader In my eyes, in my smile, in the mirror sometimes I see her: 2023 Me. Four years, I\u2019ve found, can change a person more than you think it can. I was … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1762,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/983"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1762"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=983"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/983\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":984,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/983\/revisions\/984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=983"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=983"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=983"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}