Remember a time you felt wounded (metaphorically)? Maybe something happened, you saw someone, or something just didn\u2019t work out as planned\u2014that same old uneasy, unsure feeling. In a desperate attempt to improve your well-being, you try different things like revisiting an old hobby, meditating, or perhaps going for a walk. You regain your peace by using these tried-and-tested methods of well-being\u2026Happy\u2026..right? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then, a few days later, something similar happens. This time, you weren’t prepared for it. You thought you had successfully achieved calm, but suddenly your heart drops and your mood is destroyed.\u202fTranquility lost! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We are so used to trying to achieve emotional stability that we always jump straight to regulating and changing the emotions we feel. But we have to understand that, both psychologically and biologically, emotions are natural to us as a species. The fact that you feel makes you human; we just can\u2019t let those feelings overpower us. Because an emotion is an internal feeling, it is felt by you and not by others\u2014which is why emotional outbursts tend to garner negative feedback. Others simply don’t feel what you feel. I have been trying to overcome this challenge for a while, and only recently have I been able to get a grip on things. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s why, in the first blog of this semester, I would like to introduce you to a concept I call\u202fRBR: \u201cRecognizing Before Regulating.\u201d<\/strong>\u202fIt\u2019s not complicated or groundbreaking; it\u2019s just a simple tactic to give yourself space to recognize, understand, and eventually regulate your emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Before changing anything, the trick is to give yourself time to actually feel the emotion. Recognize where it came from, what caused it, and if it is a recurring thing. Try to find the trigger. Identifying the trigger is the most important part because it prepares you mentally, helping you realize that a certain situation will cause a specific emotional response. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The next step is to put it into words. Before regulating, describing the feeling with specific “emotion words” is very important\u2014words that go beyond just\u202fgood, bad, nice, angry,<\/em>\u202for\u202fsad<\/em>. Use words like\u202fgrief, ridiculed, relieved, valued,<\/em>\u202for\u202fflustered<\/em>. The better your emotional vocabulary, the easier it is to process what you’re going through. This lets you be more specific with your understanding; labeling it this way makes the feeling “known” instead of “unknown,” allowing you to express it in words that help instead of harm. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I usually like to set three silent alerts throughout the day. When I see the alert, I take a second to become aware of my mental state and simply\u202fnotice<\/em>\u202fit instead of trying to change it. I also keep a list of emotion words in my phone\u2019s notes app, which I refer to every time I want to describe a feeling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The goal is to become aware of yourself before trying to change. You cannot treat a wound unless you have recognized and understood what kind of wound it is. Only then can you provide the appropriate care. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By: Soham Sawant, Kennedy College of Sciences Well-Being Leader Remember a time you felt wounded (metaphorically)? Maybe something happened, you saw someone, or something just didn\u2019t work out as planned\u2014that same old uneasy, unsure feeling. In a desperate attempt to improve your well-being, you … Continue reading