{"id":613,"date":"2024-10-08T15:43:15","date_gmt":"2024-10-08T20:43:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/?p=613"},"modified":"2024-10-08T15:43:58","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T20:43:58","slug":"how-to-stand-up-for-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/2024\/10\/08\/how-to-stand-up-for-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stand Up For Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By: Fahad Alden, College of Fine Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences Well-Being Leader<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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We learn a lot in school\u2014how to do math, how to read, and how to write in cursive (which, sorry, Ms. Curro, I still can’t do). But one thing we don\u2019t learn is how to stand up for ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over the years, I\u2019ve learned a lot beyond how to give the perfect handshake or how most meetings could\u2019ve been emails. The biggest lesson I\u2019ve learned as an adult? The importance of standing up for yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I could tell you about all the lessons I had to learn the hard way, but here\u2019s the most important one: the importance of standing up for yourself because no one else is going to. When we are young, we are often told not to be bystanders and to stand up for others. I\u2019ve noticed, however, that as we get older, this message gets lost in translation, leaving it up to us to stand up for ourselves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first step to learning how to stand up for yourself is to start by identifying your needs and what you won\u2019t tolerate. Knowing your boundaries helps you stay firm in what you will and what you won\u2019t accept from others. For example, I can handle some dark humor, but putting down my interests or throwing me under the bus for something that wasn’t my fault? That\u2019s where I draw the line. I have the right to decide what I tolerate, and by knowing my boundaries, it becomes easier to enforce them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is important to not let others decide your boundaries for you. I had someone in my life that bullied me for years on end, and when others told me to brush it off, it only made things worse, as that person felt entitled to continue their behavior. It also led me to engage in this negative behavior myself, which was not healthy for me. It is important to prevent yourself from reaching a point where you are adding gas to the fire. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before you confront the issue, take time for yourself to reflect and prepare what you will say. I\u2019ve never been someone who can talk slowly or calmly when angry\u2014it\u2019s just not in my nature. I\u2019m Iraqi, so I have that fire in me for sure; we\u2019re passionate people\u2026 we speak with our hands, we hug, we kiss, and most importantly, we are passionate about injustice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Knowing this about me, I try to take a day for myself before I decide to work a situation out with someone. So, I take a moment, calm down, and then explain the situation to them in a reasonable tone. Whether the topic is crude jokes or money owed, expressing why something was hurtful is the most important part. Focusing on \u201cI\u201d statements reassures the person I am speaking to that I am not attacking them, but rather trying to open the dialogue. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When preparing a message, remember to always be honest. Being real with yourself and others can lighten the load. For example, someone once snapped at me because they were having a bad day. They apologized, and I thanked them for that, but I didn\u2019t say it was okay. It\u2019s never okay to take your frustration out on someone else, and I did not want to enable this behavior by deeming it okay. Transparency is a value I hold close to me, so I try to practice it in my everyday life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t say something is fine if it\u2019s not and then explode later. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Easy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If this article spoke to you, take some time to read through the rest of our blog posts \u2013 you might discover another story that speaks to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Image: https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Fahad Alden, College of Fine Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences Well-Being Leader We learn a lot in school\u2014how to do math, how to read, and how to write in cursive (which, sorry, Ms. Curro, I still can’t do). But … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1518,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6,13,12],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/613"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1518"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=613"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/613\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":615,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/613\/revisions\/615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=613"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=613"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.uml.edu\/wellbeing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=613"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}