By: Fatin Rahman, Francis College of Engineering Well-Being Leader

As engineering students, we often take pride in overworking ourselves, running on energy drinks, surviving on four hours of sleep, and shutting ourselves away all weekend to “lock in.” It’s almost a badge of honor, scoffing at wellness initiatives because, really, who has time for that?

Earlier this semester, a close friend, a straight-A student, came to my office hours. Between tears, she admitted how overwhelmed she felt. The stress of endless assignments and exams made her chest tighten; she could barely sleep or eat. She asked if I ever felt that way. Truthfully, I said no. I’d always prided myself on maintaining balance between school, work, and my well-being. I helped her make an action plan: go home, rest, spend time with family, and forget homework for a while. Health before deadlines.

It worked. She returned recharged! I felt proud to have helped not just as a friend, but as a well-being leader.

A few weeks later, on my birthday, we planned to work together on an assignment and celebrate after. I had spent the weekend before celebrating early so I could focus on midterms during the week. But that Monday, as we sat down to work, I couldn’t focus. My inbox was full, club events needed planning, and exams loomed ahead. For the first time, the balance I prided myself on began to crumble. My chest felt tight. I asked if we could take a walk.

As we walked by the river, I broke down. On my birthday, of all days. I cried about everything I hadn’t done, all the expectations I felt I was failing to meet. But my friend didn’t let me spiral. She spoke gently, filling the silence with reassurance, and reminded me that it was okay to fall apart. That moment redefined how I viewed wellness. I had spent so long trying to be perfect, hitting deadlines, responding to every message, staying constantly “on.” I didn’t realize how much I’d trained my body to live in panic mode.

That day, I learned something simple but life-changing: it’s okay to disappoint others if it means taking care of yourself. Deadlines can wait. Emails can go unanswered. The world won’t end if you rest. We get so uncomfortable choosing ourselves because we equate rest with failure, but in truth, choosing yourself is strength.

We never ended up going out that night. Instead, I went home, did a face mask, and watched my favorite show. My friend told me she’d handle the rest of the assignment. It was the most unexpectedly peaceful birthday I’ve ever had.

Being a well-being leader doesn’t mean you always have it together. It means recognizing when you don’t, and giving yourself permission to rest. True wellness isn’t just about balance, it’s about compassion, for others, and for yourself.

So lean on the people who care about you, just as they lean on you. When things get heavy, choose your well-being first, because you can’t pour into others if you’re running on empty.