By: Minh Tran, Zuckerberg College of Health Sciences Well-Being Leader

There is a saying that goes, “The way to someone’s heart is through their stomach,” and I have come to really resonate with this idea over the past couple of years. As someone who indulges in the culinary world through my food blogs, I have found that food can be both comforting and unsettling. A well-prepared and delicious dish can leave me nourished and satisfied, whereas an ill-prepared and grotesque dish can leave me sick and uneasy. In a way, our emotions and feelings work in the same way. Just as we “stomach” the food we eat, you can stomach your feelings as well. Learning to understand what emotions not to “stomach” and what to enjoy can allow you to build better relationships with not only yourself, but others as well.

Imagine sitting in a Michelin-star restaurant. A nine-course meal awaits you, and with every bite you take, you can feel the warmth of the savory food on your palate and filling your stomach. Your friends and family gather around the table, laughing and engaging in conversation as you enjoy this delicious meal. You look around and are grateful for the food on the table and the people around the table. Likewise, emotions of joy and happiness fill you with that same warmth that the Michelin-starred meal provides. Emotions like joy, pride, hope, enthusiasm, and love extend that same warm feeling inside your stomach. You feel happy and truly feel grateful for the things around you. This positivity in emotion radiates off of you and reflects onto the people closest to you. When you bring joy into the conversation, people can feel that energy you are emitting and feed off of that as well. So, it is important to stomach the good emotions, because not only will you feel good about yourself, but it will have a positive effect on others as well.

Now imagine it’s a late night of studying. You are really hungry, but the only food in your fridge is old noodles from over a week ago. You heat it up and force yourself to eat the noodles despite an odd sour taste that lingers on your tongue. An hour later, you begin to feel nauseous and regret stomaching the old leftovers. The nausea prevents you from being able to focus on your studies, and you grip your stomach in pain and eventually throw up. This can be what it is like to pent up negative emotions. Negative emotions like guilt, anger, resentment, and frustration can give you that same nauseous feeling that those noodles gave you. When you hold onto negative emotions, in a way, it acts as a burden, which can contribute to your stress levels and overall mood. When the negative emotions build, they can affect how you go through your day and distract you from what is actually present. Like how the nausea distracts you from the stomach because of the pain, negative emotions can distract you from what’s important and make you focus on the stress. Stomaching these negative emotions can also affect those around you as well. When you’re keeping these feelings bottled up without a proper outlet, you can take out your emotions on those around you. Feelings of anger and resentment can build up, and when those closest to you try to talk to you, you may lash out because of all that built-up anger inside of you. It is important to understand that these bad emotions you stomach need to be released. Having it build up inside of you can create a bigger problem for you, and others can feel that negativity around you as well. Similar to how throwing up gives you a brief feeling of relief, letting go of these negative emotions can help you feel lighter. Understand that when you try to stomach negative feelings, it doesn’t only hurt you, but those around you who want you to be happy.

With all that said, emotions are more complex than food. This analogy gives a good example of how stomaching positive and negative emotions can affect you overall, but it is important to understand that just because not stomaching bad emotions can allow you to avoid negativity, it does not mean that bad emotions are not important to understanding yourself as well. Like all things, emotions require balance. You shouldn’t avoid trying to feel these negative emotions because it may allow you to feel better. However, negative emotions can provide an outlet in certain situations that being positive won’t allow you to feel. It is okay to stomach negative feelings at times because we all need balance within our lives. There are times when you may need to lash out or feel angry at certain situations. Being positive all the time won’t help you understand your emotions and how you feel. Sometimes letting these negative emotions show will help you understand how it makes you feel and why.

Certain feelings can be stomached, others need to be released in an emotional outlet. Your emotions and how you understand yourself are complex matter, and you know how you feel better than others. Similar to how you know what foods you like and what you don’t. Understanding the way to your heart is understanding what feelings you should stomach and shouldn’t, allowing you to build better emotional relationships with yourself and others.