On the first day of our program, we had class, took a tour around San Sebastian, and then had a discussion about what the next 3 weeks of the class would look like. During this discussion we were given the dates of our blog assignment and I accidentally raised my hand for the first day. Unfortunately that meant I had until 8 pm the next day to write a 750 word Blog. Normally that would not have been a huge issue, but I realized that the first day had been relatively tame. We had not done any of the fun events that were planned for us for the next month, all we did was take a class and then walk around the old city. It was fun but it didn’t seem particularly noteworthy. I began to worry about what I was going to write about. I milled over it in my head. I procrastinated until I remembered something I had learned. Ironically the life lesson was about the learning process. That story also reminded me of another story I had of traveling around spain. Here are those 2 stories: 

“Ava, ¿qué es lo que te gusta y lo que no te gusta?” I stare blankly back at my professor.

“¿Perdón?”

“¿Qué es lo que te gusta y lo que no te gusta?” he repeats

I look around at the room of faces sitting in a circle. I thought: These people in this classroom are definitely better at Spanish than I am. Before class those 2 kids near the corner had a full conversation in Spanish. The teacher stared back at me expectantly.

“¿Entiendes o no?”

“Uh, si”

I muster out an answer stumbling over my words. I was relieved when the teacher was satisfied with my simple answer and passed the ball to the next poor sucker in the class. Much to my chagrin the next student answered with ease, an accent reminiscent of los Madreleños I had met during my first week in Europe. I felt out of place. I was uncomfortable.

I had arrived in Spain 2 weeks prior to the program starting. In my time there I had many encounters like the one described above. A person would speak to me in Spanish and though I could make out what they were saying, I struggled to respond. People would nod their heads and wave. At first I frequently said 

“Lo siento, más despacio por favor.” Over time though, that became:

“Inglés por favor” 

My 6 years of Spanish classes in the states amounted to these couple of phrases that I relied on for several days of my trip. This would change however.

My dad had a few Spanish friends he had met in his youth. While in Spain we went to see them, one gave us a historical tour of El Escorial. Our friend Consuelo talked endlessly about the history of Spain and I managed to ask several questions and crack a couple jokes. I was very interested in what she was saying so I did my best to understand her. Even if that led to embarrassing mistakes. The whole time Consuelo spoke I was stumbling after what she said. I felt as though I was trying to assemble a puzzle with missing pieces. I could pick up a few words and figure out one sentence just as she moved on to the next. As one can imagine this was exhausting. After the tour my dad pulled me aside and said:

“Ya’ know Ava, I think in one day of speaking with Consuelo, you have improved”

I was shocked. I got better? I realized that over the course of the day I had begun to speak more and pick things up better. 

But this brings me back to that first day of class. While sitting there red and flustered after the embarrassing encounter. I realized something: learning is supposed to be hard, you should feel uncomfortable. Ironically, in order to learn one must put themselves in situations where they feel completely useless, and stupid.

Instead of comparing myself to the others in class I began to listen to what they said in Spanish. Over time I have begun implementing things I have picked up from my classmates, teachers, and the people around me. Even if the people in my class are better than me, Their level is a benchmark that I want to achieve and surpass. 

With my next 3 weeks in Spain I want to continue to put myself in uncomfortable situations. I came to Spain in order to learn Spanish and experience what Spain has to offer. Like a sponge I want to soak up all the information available to me.